Sunday, February 27, 2005

Forest Honey

You've got dried leaves stuck to your back
Raccoons ate the trail mix in your pack
Out here in the woods I'm gonna spend my money
A direct deposit to you, Forest Honey
You smelled of the city when you first arrived
Of the four that came, you're the one that survived
I never meant to hurt any one of the others
It's just that they looked so much like my mother
Forest Honey tastes so sweet
Dark and sticky
Made by bees
Bees of the forest
Wilder than most
Forest Honey, great on toast

Forest Honey, I love you the best
You're the only one that passed my test
Like a proud country's flag, you're on top of the pole
You've got a city girl's body, but a Forest Honey soul

All things natural are completely safe! Consequence is natural!

Friday, February 25, 2005

Sodium Laureth Sulfate

early whaling ships
decks darkened with rendered fat
saturated black

Try mixing some lye into your Red Bull. You can be soap!

Monday, February 21, 2005

Yeast (1983 (R)emix)

Brad and Ned built a bed
On which their critter would sleep
Though Critter was rested
The bed got infested
With (r)emnants of (R)itter the creep

You used to collect action figures! How faggy!

Sunday, February 20, 2005


I watched you fall in love
and you grew up so fast after that
Brad filled you with drugs
and then
you took off with him
to Wyoming
where you both cared for his sick mother
who faked her sickness to control Brad's love for you
and then when you found out
you left him and got sober
and Brad started a blog
writing haiku about the Civil War
and for some reason he is immensely popular
his first post is the best:
Haiku North vs. South
musket prevention
soft potato for dinner
boll weevil sour cream

and the fact is that Brad writes each post
hoping that you catch on to the key words
like war

You are now free to remove the candle from up inside your ass! Ass is a key word!

Monday, February 14, 2005

Sesame Oil

you have grown a protective beard
kind of an atmosphere for your face and self
protecting you from a certain space
a space that does not have the decency to be empty
a space that has your fingerprints all over it
making you ashamed you were ever tempted to touch
but your beard deflects the comet-dust of shame
spraying it back at your new enemies as shrapnel
and your new enemies, confused, wish you the best

Time heals all wounds. So fucking untrue.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

Rye Flour

the other night I thought about praying
and how I would have to put my hands together
and slide them them slowly into a zoo animal
named "Kanga"
and how Kanga would turn her cartoon head
and Kanga's eyes would turn milky white
like that chick from the Omega Man
when (H)eston thinks he's home free
when he thinks to himself
"I'm the last man and she's the last woman...ooh yeah"
and then she pops up from behind the couch
milky-eyed women always poppin' up and scaring
the last man

Your liberty was costly, but worth it. I think you're (H)eston!

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Fennel Seeds (Hulled using reverse-nitrogen flushing)

Watching the car chase on channel 9 last night
Was totally relaxing
It reminded me of when I used to watch the aquarium downstairs
At the house in Massachusetts, when (f)amily happened
The neon tetras were the best
Until pleistophora hyphessobryconis
Tore through the tank
And as if pleistophora hyphessobryconis
Found its way into channel 9
The red and the blue stopped
As the chase ended

People in Boston have mob ties! Mob ties!

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Calcium Citrate

Why did we move from Whimsy, California?
Was it the increasing number of deer ticks?
Was it the independent rock band that got lost in our mountains?
(Rumor has it, the remains were found but ignored)
Or were things just too damned simple in Whimsy?
Haiku Complicated Life
pills for depression
tax sheltered annuity
tipsy death marches

Limes have bones! Try milking yourself!

Friday, February 04, 2005


You push for Pitt
While trampling my art
You obscure your Jennifers
While defiling yourself
A declaration of war is in order
A war on your thoughts
Because you are a man who wears tights
And while disgusted
I am delighted

The comment section is about to be axed. Speak your mind!

Thursday, February 03, 2005


manslaughter filled the igloo
with terror wine
purchased from Zach's Lowdown Market
because at Zach's, the customer comes back

one would like to believe that a strong man
would reek of confidence
the kind of confidence on special this week at Zach's Lowdown Market
because at Zach's, the customer comes back

evidence from the lab had melted
and was refrozen into cubes
and served to the funny man
whose laughter warmed our hearts

this far up north
it behooves you to keep moving forward
unless you are going to Zach's Lowdown Market
because at Zach's, the customer comes back

Kids need vitamins. Give pills to children!

Wednesday, February 02, 2005


Affirmation kills the sports representative
Bloody and dead before he could utter the nine words
Affirmation stands, stupid, with a potato ricer
The blind child of Affirmation, Little Chet, is effeminate
Posing sexily in the undergarments stolen from a mummified corpse
Dirty bandage over tiny man-stuff
Chet is a model for the future
Chet knows the NINE WORDS but will not reveal them to Affirmation

Sweet nothings really are nothing.