Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Lutein (if you know what I mean)

Robert Frost had an issue with his macula
and used barbed wire to scratch it
the regret was instantaneous
Robert had injured his macula
but Robert was not a stupid man, no
he remembered the deep coloration
he had seen on the skin of a broiler chicken
Haiku What if Lutein Could Help My Macula?
I am Robert Frost
my macula is damaged
I will try Lutein
You will not find your way with an injured macula. We've looked and looked, but after all where are we?

Monday, August 29, 2011


you wear stibnite pants
to hide your legs as you dance
your moves are lustrous and grey
and you dance okay
I want to take you outside
against the allotrope tide
to render you malleable
and squander your valuables

Those lizard cave paintings are evidence of your guilt, lizard!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Urea (salty)

I borrowed urea
From your general store
You had red licorice
And those sugar dot paper things
I put forth urea
As a delightful treat
But you agreed to none of it
You brayed and howled your displeasure
Like a displeased canine
Oh how I want you
To be accepting of the general store

Use your children like the spy in Stratego. It's a bomb!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Vitamin A

I heard you found a partner
who let you "Vitamin A"
is that why you left your smartphone
by the dock of the bay?

Even Mr. Limpet figured it out. Jump into the sea!

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Cacao Nibs

My wife says that ducks don't nurse
That only mammals nurse
"Have you seen actual duck nipples?" she asks
I can't say I have is what I say in response

The world really does make sense. Then your air disappears.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Methyl Tertiary Butyl Ether

I used a Corpus Christi notepad
To write about your snatch
And when I say "snatch"
I mean Liberty Bell
Which isn't any better

When you have to choose between a rake and a trowel, pick the rake or you're stupid.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Naegleria Fowleri (Lake Winthrop Variant)

German men
surf on special rivers
because they have ocean problems
Massachusetts men
have special problems
because of brain swelling

heavy water walls
vehicles for amoebae
looking for a home

Spend more time by yourself. Practice makes perfect.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Argentinian Thing

I saw an Argentinian thing
and drank it
Health effects were instant
I could see a thousand landscapes
through the dusty eyes
of an old Argentine
Haiku Old Argentine
you used my mule boy
for significant purpose
my eyes. so dusty.
Use responsibility as your battle cry. You are boring.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Sorry Nibs

We give you lively talk
And we give you party walk
But we know the lives you live
And so we withhold sorry nibs

Give yourself a hand. You are an arm.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Refrigerated Pills (the Revenge)

General Mills?
Refrigerated Pills (the Revenge)
Unpaid bills
Mom's on the mend
Refrigerated Pills (the Revenge)
Window sills
Beverly Sills
Stephen Stills
Visual Nutrients used to be so much better. What happened to the good old days?

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

Refrigerated Pills

I pay my bills
And I never much cared
For Beverly Sills
I take refrigerated pills
With live bacillus
Is the skin of the cuke
Just a possible dill-husk?

Visual Nutrients is looking worse and worse. You look better now that you've resolved the "orgasm" issues.

Sunday, August 07, 2011

Silicon Dioxide (pt. II)

everything is perfect today:
1. ample stores of food
2. coffee at perfect drinking temp
3. four Casio Rapman keyboards
4. no more ground-dwelling bees
first two: this
second two: these
Your memories are not written in stone. Petroglyphs are written in stone.

Friday, August 05, 2011

Cryptococcus Gattii

there was a problem for the club manager
he had booked Potty Sect as the opener
for a trio of fairly well-known goth acts
the band consisted of three synth players
wearing Hot Dog On A Stick uniforms
the middle guy was also the singer, Dick Daisy
the club manager, who we'll refer to as "Club Manager"
was played by Tom Hanks as a teenager

People who insist on closure. Ammonia.

Wednesday, August 03, 2011


staunch pilot landed hardly
on the primitive island
the sign on the pitted airstrip
read "mitive Isl"
staunch pilot used a healing poultice
on the newly dented bounce bruises
that reminded him of Sundays
when Dad would get so mad

Your groin is speaking. Please listen.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Proteolytic Enzymes

you own a flag store
to make new countries from scratch
like a cake or pie
flour sacks line the hall
mittens for fingerless hands

Every day is a gift. Many gifts are taxable.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Powdered Palm Hearts

You take powdered palm hearts
And you are now a chiropractor
With special equipment
And patented technology
So imagine my surprise
When you told me you were getting your "All Mammals" certification
I am now convinced you will adjust a subluxated walrus

If you see a creep in the mirror, try looking away to the right, spitting, and yelling five random numbers. The creep will have disappeared!