Saturday, July 26, 2003

Folic Acid

they only wanted a casual, backyard, barbeque wedding
the high-society planner ruined everything
future wife wilted under planner's hot stares
future husband had no spine to begin with
their wedding was terrible

Have you had your folic acid today?

Friday, July 25, 2003

Vitamin E

meet me in Malta
we will both be 25
neither of us showed

Nutrients are often disguised as regret!

Folic Acid

I know a lot about music
stanzas and note-pegs and altavos
I write the songs x2
I know about your "Betty"
care to elaborate?
didn't think so.


Thursday, July 24, 2003

Cub Scout

your sister used your mom's perfume
goddamn it's tough to be a man

Don't fuck your sister!

Tuesday, July 22, 2003


I go swimming to relieve stress
There are no problems in my pool
Once a doctor nearly drowned (drownded) in the shallow end
He was drunk and his wife kept laughing like it was a big joke
But he was standing, so how could he be drowning (drownding)?
Sure enough, though
We got him out of the pool and on his side
First his lungs emptied, then his gut
He must have violated a rule or a law

Always use a mushroom brush to avoid slime and bruises!

Sunday, July 20, 2003


I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
I see all right, but without my glasses I'm fucked.
I see you've brought home a bag of anthrax spores...
Or is that wheat gluten?

I can breathe deeply, because I am innocent.
I breathe all night, with the help of a machine.
I take a deep breath of ether from your vial...
Or is that Old Spice?

Old Spice can be used to take the sting out of a rodent bite!

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Yerba Mate

Verizon owns loggerhead shrike
Wireless communication for the mimic thrush
Local and long-distance on one bill

When you sleep, the Devil controls your thoughts!

Friday, July 18, 2003

Flax Seed Oil

If you can spare just a minute of your time, I can change your life forever. Have you ever fantasized about having unlimited income? Would you believe me if I told you that unlimited income could be yours for saying just one simple word? Wait. I can make this even easier for you. Simply nod your head up and down. That's it! You've agreed. Congratulations!

Once you commit yourself to a goal, giving up is the same as cutting your wrists!

Wednesday, July 16, 2003


a SoCal oven
KOLA 99.9
the Beach Boys age well

car seat strapped in tight
mom needs some shit from Walmart
wouldn't it be nice?

"you stay here for now"
A.C. and radio on
help me Rhonda, yeah

mommy's back so soon
she's got her bag full of shit
surf's up, starbaby!

Have a bitchin' summer!

Tuesday, July 15, 2003


Dumb child brings home the radish tops! "Can these for the future!" is his clarion call. Voters regret not having seen the initial release. Congeal! Congeal!

Your electrolytes work in harmony with one another!

Monday, July 14, 2003

Cobalamin (B12)

Hospital attorney is courageous. Abdominal wall penetration by monitor glass is both achy and breaky. Hank Williams is propelled to stardom by death, so why be afraid? Your airplane will eventually cease to function. Just like you.

All meat has an expiration date!

Sunday, July 13, 2003


I was raised by wolves. I washed graves and doves. Eye wash pays in droves. I lost days in groves. I got fillet mignon. I'm not made for gloves.

Older people bruise more easily during intercourse!

Saturday, July 12, 2003


Electricians avoid making potty-talk. Plumbers even avoid making potty-talk. Ill-behaved children and those who over-use hyphens can avoid potty-talk, but it takes discipline. Plumbers without adequate social resources tend to have low self-esteem and higher incidences of documented potty-talk. Electricians who are disabled because of on-the-job, work-related, doing-what-they-were-being-paid-to-do types of injuries often fall back into a lifestyle of potty-talk. Over-hyphenaters brought up in a super-conflicted immedio-familio mileau (words imported by Wescon, a division of Seabridge Corporate Alliance) will often display a thwarted utilization of self-discipline, thus leading to ever-increasing hyphenation that directly correlates with mega-usage of bathroom-verbiage (this simple translation of the term "potty-talk" was assisted by Memory of Things Learned, a division of Seabridge Corporate Alliance).

Your parents used you as an excuse for their ever-increasing distance from one-another!

Friday, July 11, 2003

Burdock Root

I went packing to Temple-Brat for the mustard wars. Seems the Jimmies cannot stop firing rifles at the Carls. Carls are no slouches, though, when it comes to battle. Carls are fond of bathing in their own piss and running at their enemies. The days of easygoing barn-raising ing-ing are over. Gotta face it.

When using herbs as flavor enhancers, always wipe from front to back!


Even the non-religious thank God sometimes. God is a beatiful Italian woman and mom hates Her. Mom says She yells on our doorstep, but I have yet to hear Her. I do know that Her stupid kids don't shut the door when they use the bathroom. What kind of manners has God taught Her kids?

Staying regular means less arguments!

Wednesday, July 09, 2003


Baba made boo-boo with caca.

Make sure to clean up your shit!


Lemon pie for pity
Makes you hate the human
Sweet and sour and flakey
Loved ones pound your bones
Some coffee with your citrus?
It seems you've only said "no"
It's liquid-hot, and bitter
But getting colder

Injuries heal faster with healthy thinking!

Monday, July 07, 2003


strengthen my large bone
arthritic and sore as hell
just like my small bone

A daily dose of Visual Nutrients can help you live longer!

Sunday, July 06, 2003


Have you been to Smiley Heights? They say it snows there every night. Donuts for the kids are free and all respect the elderly. Snowmen grace the yards of neighbors; sunlight melts the children's labor. Grandma darns a hefty quilt while daytime bleaches nighttime's silt. Parents' pride in their creations; siblings hide in desperation.

Burnt toast can help an upset tummy!

Saturday, July 05, 2003

Evening Primrose

Kevin Costner buys roses from Sal before being struck. Kevin (Mr. Costner) knows about life on the streets. A child denies anything happened with Mr. Costner (Kev). Eleven years old and so many holes in his fingers. The paramedic unit responds and promptly uses $342.00 worth of medical supplies. Turns out they all know each other and have the same opinion about Vietnam. "A great time to invest!" and "Very earthy people!" pours out of mouths and leaves rivulets of non-crimson on once-sterile gauze.

The prettiest names can have potency!

Friday, July 04, 2003


a comfortable wren
taking solace in a pond
mites destroy your nest

bird in a cool bath
eggs eaten through by arach-
nids sids mids dids kids

comfortable lie
feather pillow holds your head
chicks sure dig spiders

If you drink too much, take extra thiamine!

Thursday, July 03, 2003


I always end up back at 146 Loretto Court. Out in the backyard and my father will be a zombie. He walks around the swimming pool (which is filthy because I never cleaned it like I was supposed to) and he's left a cigarette burning on his dresser. He shouldn't be smoking because he died of cancer. He isn't a scary zombie, but neither is he a benign zombie. Just walks around the dirty pool and I know he's thinking about what a lousy son I (was) am. The cancer that killed him is nothing compared to the cancer he left inside me; the cancer of self-doubt and self-hatred. The cancer of never being enough or doing enough. It is more than likely that I am the zombie and he is the one breathing. I breathe dead air as his cigarette burns into the dresser.

Men should be careful about their iron intake. Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing!

Wednesday, July 02, 2003

Phosphatidyl Choline

Hot mama biker lady turns hubby out for a change. Chain-letter fabric-men do little to combat the rampant military excercises going on in the front yard. Army helmets and biker helmets (same thing now) mix it up while $12.99 bandanas soak up the excess. Hot mama biker lady thinks nothing about the kittens under her porch. Mewlers watching gay gladiators while spreading more life everywhere. Life everywhere!

There are nutrients in swimming pools!

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

Chromium Picolinate

I got your letter.
I got your letter complaining.
I got your letter complaining about my lack of consideration.
I got your letter complaining about my lack of consideration when it comes to paying the bar tab.
I got your letter complaining about my lack of consideration when it comes to paying the bar tab at the end of the night.
I wrote you back.
I wrote you back complaining.
I wrote you back complaining about your choice of drinks.
I wrote you back complaining about your choice of drinks that cost a fuckin' arm and a leg.
I wrote you back complaining about your choice of drinks that cost a fuckin' arm and a leg and taste like fake fruit.
All we ever do is complain in writing and drink.

Use minerals to rebalance yourself!