Tuesday, September 30, 2003


Muskmelon derides crosshatch for the (N)ew (M)ineral. Catch a fish for the electorate and swallow your pride once again. Your idea of sharing is the distribution of gaffing sticks. For Christ's sake, don't take the pills! Your suicide is only a one-time event for you.

See you in Hell!

Monday, September 29, 2003

Borage Seed Oil, pt. IIa

Whatever you heard about Mr. Yucca Valley was incorrect. The prison didn't shut down because of money problems, like some would have you believe. The real demise of incinc was the "loose lips" that permeated the admin. While seemingly brutal, a nice "dirty war" would've kept us all in the dough.

This time you're the bagel dog! Finger yourself!

Friday, September 26, 2003


The Queen gave a dinner in honor of Murray, unaware that wire barbeque brush had already begun its descent into Promodial Gesture Statute Entrophic Dissolution (PGSED). Could it have been the heat of the coals? All I know is that when the Queen hears about Murray's perforated duodenal wall, she'll simply write a check. Heck-Neck. Robert Palmer and John Ritter play Heck-Neck down in Heck. John Ritter uses wire barbeque brush on Robert Palmer's (N)eck. Queen plays scry and remembers her own experience with a (N)eck full of Ritter. Ritter-Fritter!

Try to be careful when reading hormones! Chances are, (R)itter (N)eck!

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Borage Seed Oil, pt. II

The meanest guy in the prison was named "Lichen" and he was the charter inmate of Inc., Inc. In fact, he had (prior to his conviction for making a table out of a person) been the deciding vote on the Malwick County Board of Supervisors to contract with Inc., Inc. for a state-of-the-art maximum security prison. Lichen was unbelievably cruel to both his fellow inmates and the guards. He was known to give "the cold shoulder" and "the silent treatment" to those with whom he became cross.

That was truly Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. To be continued (prolonged)!

Thursday, September 11, 2003


Home taping killed music.
My dogs won't shut up.
Home taping killed music and my dogs just won't shut up.
I used to like music (prior to it being killed) and I still like my dogs (less, though, than when they were quiet).
If music had not been killed, I would put some on to drown out the dog sounds.
But my records have decayed, their worn jackets epitaphs.
And my dogs...they just won't shut up.

Take yourself out on a date! It's cheap and it's fun!

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

Cod Liver Oil

Mr. Shiny says, "Dew drops are mercurial and rock music is a tool of the conservatives to keep the kids hoping they never become us." Seems like all the "C" words are taking on lives of their own. They grow up so fast.

Kiss a fish!

Borage Seed Oil (Dramatic Intro)

The profession of whores
Is the practice of whorage
And in the fighting of wars
There will always be warage
And when frequenting stores
You're engaging in storage
So please keep the Boers
Off my oil of seed borage

Keep a daily journal of your seed oil intake or find a profession that you love!

Thursday, September 04, 2003

Folic Acid

Yesterday's Borage Seed Oil, pt. II was not a sanctioned entry in the Borage Seed Oil (BSO) line of Visual Nutrients. While there will be no apologies for the unsanctioned entry, there will be snacks served after the presentation.

The snacks have been poisoned!

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Borage Seed Oil, pt. II

Semites and those looking like them joined hands and prayed the rosary! Good loving ensued followed by some moist applause aimed at appeasing the (D)emocrats and (R)epublicans in the audience. I once loved a rat named Genine.

With both her lower and her upper jaw.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Spruce Tips

This is not Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. This is Spruce Tips.

Spruce it up!

Monday, September 01, 2003


This is not Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. This is Chlorine. This nutrient has saved your useless life more times than you could ever count. You have no fucking understanding of the bacteria and protazoa that are lined up to kill your ass. They're taking numbers for the chance to turn your pancreas into soup, all the while you're taking Chlorine for granted. I dare you to go one day without the luxury of Chlorine. You couldn't last.

Try learning one new word a day! Keeps you from seeming stupid!