Monday, November 28, 2011

Cane Sugar Spirits

rum ghosts
leave molasses on my neurons
before the ghosts escape from my face
(actually from behind my face)
and I have everything I want
except for what the ghosts
took from my face

Drink rum tonight. Drink rum tomorrow night!

Thursday, November 24, 2011


we lost our stomachs for the hunt on the first night
when Buddy Lawrence made a knife out of a magazine
and repeatedly stabbed an aging map of Pasadena

one of those LED lightbars from Home Depot stopped working
and we had to recruit our nephew to hold up a Coleman lantern
the smell of white gas reigniting childhood memories intentionally forgotten

we were able to bury Kristy McNichol's ratty pantsuit
with little resistance from the historical society's busybodies
once we replaced the protective Lexan® viewing shield

Apologize to General Electric today. Your family already knows you're sorry.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


The pressure is coming in from the front
Above and below
It is a wave you cannot escape
Even in your bison dress-pants
And even with your hot plain tan
The bison will take the day's victory

All hail the mighty bison!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Ethylene Glycol

We drink ethylene glycol
And play union games until dawn
You always win at "Beat the Scab"
I always opt out by playing my Disability Retirement card
Which you say is cheating
But it saves me from crossing the line
And getting the crap beat out of me

Drink ethylene glycol. No. Stop. Do not drink ethylene glycol!

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Stachybotrys Chartarum

I am a black mold
I am most like my father
He was a black mold

When my father drank
He was most like a black mold
I am like that, too

Fathers and their sons
Play this fungal trading game
Black mold for the win

Our memories help keep the departed alive. How horrible!

Saturday, November 05, 2011


we needed front tires
we needed new brakes
and a little motivation
to get us through the day
we got a vegetable box
and a growler of beer
we paid some old bills
and watched the day disappear

Don't forget to set your clocks back tonight! Time is no longer in control of itself.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Goji Berry

thirty years is a long time
for a friend to stay dead
so I sit here and imagine
if he were to be briefly reanimated,
that dead friend would likely say one of the following things:
1. I am hungry for Pup'n'Taco
2. Death is boring but relaxing
3. Heaven has a shitty music scene
Number 3 for sure. Nobody really liked Pup'n'Taco.