Thursday, October 09, 2014


You wanted a homeopath
I gave you a lukewarm bath
You said the soap was full of lye
I said you didn't have to use it
The soapy smell had notes
Entwined with music
I asked you if my words could win me an Oscar
You put a jacket on 'reminded me of NASCAR
Had advertisements for Valvoline and Armor All
When unengorged with blood
A member can seem mighty small
I think I asked you if you'd meet me at the snack bar
I waited hours waiting at the motherfucking snack bar

I'm pretty sure you meant to show up. Please don't listen to your answering machine.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

Castrol 20-50

You blocked me in to my own driveway
And then the joke grew thin
No laughs or pointing fingers
You had seriously lost your mind
I called the police and they had you move your car
You called me a pussy the next night at Michael J's
And then it was all laughs
Because you had the gift
Of pulling the long con
We all figured you were right
It was kind of funny in a terror kind of way
And we obeyed you
You had the intellect and power over pop culture
You were politically astute
We all tried to become you in one way or another
But I knew in a deeper level
You had reached your apex and had nowhere to go
But down
There were those who hung on
But over the decades you started talking to yourself
You would excuse yourself and pace the parking lot
Arguing and smoking nonstop
By then you only had a few followers
Who couldn't stand watching you lose your mind
But they kept watch
Distant but almost available
When I heard you died in a fiery car crash
I could only admire your perfection
In choosing a suicide utterly unproveable
I could say I miss you
But it's not you that I really miss
I miss the person I was
The gullible and diligent lieutenant
Who followed you into dark places
And defended you against the inevitable enemies
I miss being led into oblivion
By a super-smart bastard who never stood a chance
And met a fitting end

Don't order the giant burger. It is truly a burger meant for Giants.