you went to Blythe for a month and started a war
North Lovekin Blvd. was a no-man's land that ran between the trenches
and you started using words like "parapet" and "billet" in your text messages
you even came up with a coughing emoticon after your company was gassed
you were the point person in Arizona's push Westward
and you kept your men in line
by using a mixture of humor and battlefield savagery
but then you were captured and executed
You should iron your clothes for a week so you don't look so sloppy and lazy.
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