Bay Leaf

I found a handgun in my wife's underwear drawer
Two boxes of ammo and a cleaning kit
So close to her nether-garments
A firearm on a secret shelf
What if I had found panties in her gun drawer?

Go through your spouse's drawers tonight!

Nordhoff Sequence

You have read to me
Passages from the Nordhoff Sequence
And while I tried to listen
You pried my eyes open with your hope
That I would one day have a child of my own
To whom I could give such a gift
The Nordhoff Sequence was the dust in my eyes
From the rafters of your heaven
The Nordhoff Sequence object-fucked me
Of my perceived innocence
Now, with you awaiting your end
I would like to, finally, read to you

Science is religion for squares. Mad. Back. Yes.

Immediate Resource Distribution Scenario

When I called out loudly into the august August
night
Your name came out from my throat like a missile
The force was enough to drain the light from the
stars
Giving us, finally, a truly black night
And that was the night before the morning I
buried you
Immediate resource distribution scenario
And your name allowed me to label and carry you
Immediate resource distribution scenario

Corn is like grapes. Corn wine!

Frosl ("osl")

car for osl
left bank osl
terry cloth osl four-bank
lemon-four terry cloth osl bank

ten alito osl four-bank! car osl!

Wild Harvested Crystal Manna Blue Green Algae

Love, like essential products, is about taking risks
Passion, much like those things we must have, is about saying "Yes" and saying it often
Will you walk in that puddle?
Yes. Yes I will.
Will you offer the toothless man a backrub?
Yes. Of course. Risks...yes.
And whenever you open the refrigerator, will you declare that you've found the raccoon?
Yes. Yes on the raccoon find refrigerator pledge.
Trust, very much like Wild Harvested Crystal Manna Blue Green Algae, is about purposely bruising your thighs and claiming you were attacked by a forest animal (most likely a rabid deer)
My bilateral thigh bruises occurred during an assault by Nature's Mammal.
Will you win the battle with the mammal?
Yes. I will win. I take risks and I will win.

Trust and passion alone make for a very weak milkshake. Try adding a silica-based catalyst.

January Mistweed (fortified brain-nubby)

You brought me a parcel from "Francie"
She sent me a little "Faux Grox"
You, being so clever, knew I would not eat Grox
Planned the whole thing
You knew I would throw the package down
**In Disgust**
And Francie would be but a memory
She with her poultry hair
And an air of despair

Oh contrare! Oh Sinclair!

Bitters (as many as forty ingredients)

Lost girl rides a maraschino cherry like a Hippety-Hop
Clear red juice collects in erratically-spaced ponds on the imported quarry-stone patio
Her increasingly hard landings take a toll on sugar-saturated cherry skin
The once-round fruit-mount gives way to the space left from the previous pitting
And she wonders if all of her steeds will be hollow

Date-sugar is both sweet and fruity! Eat it or ride it!

Aloe (1025 hours free)

mites are everywhere
abscessed ears produce cat funk
smelling up our lives

now dog-dog has it
and her waxy canals stink
mites are everywhere

brown spots dot the sheets
as dead mites fall from cat ears
we should have had kids

A shout out to the ladies! More vagina!

Eats (Vorticum Septum Vulgaris)

Oh! Ye of strong menthol!
Come hither, Vicks snakery!
How you climb through obvious vaporial drafts
Only to cause tingling warmness!
You are strong and mineral-based
Like the dark liquid we have fought wars over
And once the wars are over
You will be there to soothe our strained alveoli
You will comfort the limbless soldiers
Who bonded with one another amidst sandstorms and prostitutes
With a frightening explosion now and then
It's hard to pry these men apart
From the morbid gravity of memories
And the understanding of honor
That can never be duplicated among civilians

Lock and load! Try some zinc lozenges along with your Vicks!

Commiphora Resin

a sober driver
car is gassed up; oil looks fine
such a long, clean road

passing mile markers
and unintentionally
I read a billboard

I am admonished
to please drink responsibly
they must know better

If you meet the Buddha on the road, acknowledge him with brief eye contact and a slight nod. He likes that.

Salvia Divinorum (Labiatae)

I waited until Significant Other took the hit
When She ran to the kitchen I figured I had better put the pipe down
Her face was red and dry like the felt on a Christmas stocking
And Her eyes were dark stars or buttons. Whatever.

Emergency room doctor nodded while I talked
Having heard these same lies under slight variations in circumstance
My guilt must have made the air around us taste sour
Because his concern-face bunched up into a look of disgust
As if he had licked the metallic shame from the back of my mouth

And She had lost Her mind and gained it back in two hours
Or so She had us all believe for the past few months
But something inside of Her was different in a very bad way
Pounding the message home like an ABC After-School Special
And her eyes were dark stars or buttons. Whatever.

Treasure what you have. Or don't. Whatever.

Methylene Chloride (turn the channel)

I recently received a complaint from a woman
Who blamed Visual Nutrients for her son's allergic reaction
To althea root
And it's not that I don't feel bad
About her stupid kid's decision
To read a nutrient he had a known allergy to
I guess I just feel bad
That I received a complaint
Because reading Visual Nutrients is a choice
And most of the time it's a healthy choice

Do not read tonight's nutrient! Reading is never completely safe.

Phosphorus Pentachloride

John McCain brings flowers to his wife
hoping she won't ask about the horrific torture
he underwent while a prisoner during the Vietnam War
he looks into her eyes and knows she has a question
inside, he shrivels and waits
"did they make you eat their shit?"
not as bad an inquiry as last week
when she wanted to know about the bent metal rod
and how they were able to push it so far inside him
without killing him
dinner is on the table
but he looks at the beautiful roast
and can only think about the taste of shit

Try controlling others with your thoughts! Now try controlling yourself!

Chocolate Calcium Chews

Oh my god! Is this candy or a nutritional supplement? I am so...
echoes of a crackling fire
it is night and you try to stay warm
I could eat a hundred of these! The flavor...
insects rise from their slumber to harass you
thin cloth does not shield you from nature's attack
What I hate most is having to unwrap each one! Why can't it be a big...
bones are found years later
archaeologists assign numbers to your pieces

There is no noble death. Prepare the slides.

Aspartame

I stopped by your grave tonight
It was hard to read your name because there wasn't much light
There were cemetery thugs hiding out in the darkness
The sounds of automobiles penetrated the starkness
I didn't stay long and there was no deep thought
Someday you'll come back as a robot
Except you'll have a human head
And you'll be singing the songs of Lobo and Bread

I found a diary underneath a tree. A simple man!

Cholecalciferol (Vitamin D3)

possum and raccoon
an animal rivalry
they could be brothers

one stupid, one smart
road-kill and the hotdog thief
grew up together

raccoon getting laid
while possum falls off a fence
nature is not fair

uber-cool face mask
versus thick scabby armor
raccoon always wins

Try imagining yourself as the raccoon! You make others feel bad!

D-glucarate (ambition vs. retention)

new-technology Furby stares at me through fleshy eyelids
I read the paper and solve the world's problems
in my head
new-technology Furby has a more ape-like appearance
and toes that look like individual uncircumcised penises
and I make a mental list of things to do today
new-technology Furby comes with a plastic spoon to assist in its feeding
and I am reminded of the Who song, "Substitute"
new-technology Furby competes with the dog for attention
and the dog wins every time

Profound statement. Ironic, whipsmart rejoinder nullifying profound statement.

Clam-Shell Calcium (clam)

you wore a shawl over your lower parts
even being otherwise naked
or nude, otherwise
except for that damned shawl
always covering
what I knew to be a very valuable pearl
that you kept between your legs
and this pearl was rumored to be the size
of a small marble
and perfectly round
held still by your labial folds
with opaque oily swoops and rainbows
defying the pretentiousness of other pearls
by being as spectacular as its setting
which, of course, are your labial folds

Electricity has made you more of a saint. I fainted when they tainted the paint!

Gator Testes (andro-sympathetic)

You are from Florida
and I hate you
What have you done to help others?
Yes. Nothing.
You are from Florida
and Wilma's on her way
Do you know her other name?
I bet you don't
I bet you think god's on your side
You are wrong.
God hates Florida
God hates you
God hates her other name

A good "B" supplement can help you if you're a drinker. A decent relationship can't hurt, either.

Hydrocodone (You Got Your Peanut Butter in my Chocolate Remix)

Yes the Vicodin is good and tasty sweet
But the jar of peanut butter is tucked away
--behind the meat
Oh yes, behind the meat is a jar of the jammy
Waiting for your taste buds to call to their mammy
So the chocolate is Hershey's and the bar is hard
There's a multiracial gathering
In the yard
--behind the meat

Try treating your pain with acupuncture. Then don't.