Dreamgirl (tincture)

the bathroom at camp
ejecting Dreamgirl's leavings
never wake me up

Dreamgirl is now mom
her teardrops are not like rain
she runs from my dad

her footprints are gone
meaning she walked upriver
Dreamgirl is a trout

the bathroom at home
where I wash away Dreamgirl
what a fucked-up night

Quit dreaming about your mother! Pop music is your new career!

Silica

an earthquake off Indonesia
sent beautiful ocean waves
across my neice's drawing
what she thought was Santa's sleigh
was really a fishing boat
with three men inside (not presents)
and these men would return home
with fish that, through no fault of their own,
had switched places with the men's families

Try using club soda when swallowing your pills! You take pills!

Myrrh (extract from ritually mummified corpses)

spice-scented bandage
an outdoor wrestling contest
gauze is the real cause
Jesus cheats again
using oxidized myrrh oil
makes him slippery
the audience cheers
sunlight makes a shiny Son
basking in glory

Nurses used to make their own bandages! Lubricate!

Clove Oil

Spending the holidays with my brother's children
My heartbeat is audible and irregular
Struggling to push memories through valves
Long since closed by scar tissue
But as the flow increases
I am surprised at how much blood gets through

A touch of clove oil in your eye feels refreshing! Stupid!

Pine Sap

pine sap mixed with blood
between the trunk and his hand
another christmas

a drip of bloodsap
accusatory finger
carbon-slush bootprint

panicked gravities
yank my ornaments earthward
meteor fragments

Testor's model cement is inflammable. Flame on!

Darjeeling (a call to arms)

Old wars make drunk friend even angrier than usual
My support, though offered, will never be enough
He asked me to help and I told him that the wars will not stop
The fighting will continue
And brothers will take bullets for one another
And that these brothers die meaningful deaths
Which is so much more empty than passing unnoticed

Alcohol is making you stupid! Have some tea instead!

Walnut Oil

John Ritter never told me he had a son (child)
Just another piece of "missed information" (boy)
Whether an intentional lie or simply an oversight,
I have messaged (A)sner regarding the potential for a new era
The world had breathed a sigh of relief when Ritter escaped
A collective gasp can now be heard (sound)
A gasp that escapes from the throats (noise)
The throats that exist in the hosts
The hosts that brush close to the (R)itter spawn
John Ritter never told me much about his life (past)
But he should have mentioned the kid (son)

Visual Nutrients is contrived! How is your (n)eck, boy?

Ash pt. II

Yes, my friends
The records have been destroyed
That Japanese Clash bootleg from 1979?
The whole Malmquist collection?
Gone.
Those Birthday Party 12-inches?
Gone.
So breathe in some ash
Like all the residents of Palmer Canyon
Whose material possessions were decimated
In the firestorms
And yes,
I know that garage-water and mold
Lack the romance of FIRESTORMS
But romance or not
The results speak volumes
Destruction can be Hollywood sexy
Destruction can be lap-dance wet-spot
But it can also be a soft punch to the ribs
Just enough pain to remind you
That the older you get
The longer the bruises stay around

You are irresponsible! Nutrition avoids the negligent!

Rapeweed

The sun moves around
Morning brings a new vision
My sister is upset

Keep up the good work! Lemongrass soothes freaks!

Ash

Out in the garage
I found our dog's old shock collar
The one that we never had the heart to use
And I noticed the wet concrete
On which sat my entire record collection
The wet cardboard boxes peeled easily away
Revealing the Who's Zoo bootleg
And the Cabaret Voltaire 12-inch
And the Ultra-man picture disc
Thousands of my prized albums, ruined
I put the shock collar around my neck and barked
I barked until the sun went down

Almost everything you do is forgettable! Have some tea!

Cabbage Root

I was asked by a man for thirty-three cents
I couldn't help but think of RPM
And the great days of vinyl records
I have a couple thousand sitting in my garage
I waved the guy off like he was nothing to me

I'd rather have women ask me for money! Women have pussies!

Milk Thistle

Cream that'll
Show 'em what you're made've
Had your shade-grown hyphen-laden terror-coffee?
Didn't think-so
Sew a Betsy-Taboo-Rasa
And I'll meet you at el casa
We can have a cold cerveza
I'll sing vocals
You'll play bass
A hanging man is not so funny
Milk, this'll keep prostate runny

In a double-blind study, there were no milk thistle recipients who burst into flames. While this isn't evidence of milk thistle's ability to ward off spontaneous combustion, we can theorize that there is some benefit to those recipients who seek to be more fire retardant. In the placebo group, however, all 96 subjects were found in neat little ash-piles. The Swiffer Wet Jet was superb at not only cleaning up the subjects, but leaving the lab floor with a "sit-on" sheen.

Wine-Filled Goose-Neck

gotta little baby with a wine-filled goose-neck
all the little duckies go heck, heck heck
no-one had the seventy or even the tens
plaster's got a crack and the larvae aren't men
Holy holy, the prayer brings me home
Holy, holy, Thanksgiving in Rome

Television is your downfall! You are the me of today!

Short Skirts (Bring me the booty remix)

You know what I like?
Do you think I like mulch?
Do you think I like to compost my kitchen and garden waste?
Or do you think I like realigning the hinges on the kitchen cabinets?
Well I've got something to tell you
Sometimes I like the things I mentioned
Sometimes it makes me feel good to fix a cabinet
Sometimes it feels good to do something with scraps and weeds
And sometimes egg
Sometimes egg and toast is good
Not the kind with blood and scab
Not the kind that cleans the crab
Do you think I like to mulch?

Science Fiction! "Non-Fiction!"

Vitamin D

It's very important that you wear magnets on your "non-use" genitals. It's equally important to remember who brought you into this world...your parents! Use your parents as a resource, unless they abandoned you. Then you're screwed. But really, not as screwed as those who were not abandoned. Let's face it. Birth is abandonment. The rest is just a stupid fucking game where people pretend that love is stronger than their petty needs and desires. Magnets have been scientifically proven to be worthless as health aids.

Genitals lead to loss. Cut your losses.

All Hallowed's Eve (Bridge Mix)

You went alone, but you saw the christian war movie
You cried when the dumb yet loyal guy got shot
By the Germans
The Germans shot him down
And they laughed and made Nazi comments, like:
What a stupid American patriot! How I love to kill stupids like him! I eat many bratwurst!
So it's true about the Germans
And I'm half German
So with me, it's half true

I love German food. I hate the nazis!

Recognition of Uniformity (Balast and Cable)

Oh you, the nutrient whores
How is it that you still seek
The pleasure of a peek
To maintain health in such a lazy fashion
Where is your passion?
You go not to the pharmacy
To buy the vitamins, including "C"
Oh, such busy bees
Propolis is not a Soviet word
Soviet word
Vodka nerd
Always using glasnost
To be heard
Soviet word
Arm the Kurds
Thanksgiving Turkey
Borders blurred
Got a little secret for you
It starts with one and it ends with two
You get to the end and you're stuck with boo
Russian rabbits know the Hoppity-Hoo!

Tinned fish never had thoughts. You never had thoughts.

Trader Joe's Vegetable Nests

I saw you run from historical pests
I watched you glisten when you got wets
The air was manipulated by engine jets
Franklin Bruno never had pets
That's why we like the Trader Joe's Vegetable Nests
Oh, that's why we even fucking exist
Yeah I'm glad that we fucking exist

Peter! I'm sorry if you think I've besmirched you! I would never besmirch you!

Gotta Pee but got New Shoes

Oh yeah, I'm at the computer
But I found quite a bargain today
At the Ontario Mills Mall
Yeah, I got me some new shoes
Gonna wear 'em at my new job
Yeah, you don't have a new job
'Cuz I'm better than you
After all I've learned about equality and fairness
I'm better than you
Because I know when to stop
With the scissors
Yeah, I'm better than you
Because I know what it means
When the bottom drops out
And I know how to deal
With the hideous shouts
You know I'm better than you
I've always been better than you
Until now

Christmas is just around the corner. Visual Nutrients remains viable. Believe nothing that Joel says!

Chicken Broth (scarce flu vaccine mix)

You received your vaccination
Because you are a bacon-wrapped night-zombie
Why do you wrap yourself in bacon?
Why are you frequenting public restrooms?
Are you seeking out young male prostitutes?
Or are you a lucky recipient?
(chorus)
Lucky recipient gets the taste
Of the sauce that keeps him safe
Lucky recipient takes the cake
But in "fluenza" he will baste
*Baste-cake sauce taste, oh yeah...

Got some elderly? Sauce 'em up!