Cinnabar

What you are about to read has already taken place, so think of it as history.

The scene is a bar called the Cinnabar located in the Serbian city of Valjevo. The bartender is a small horse standing upright. He is wearing authentic horse clothing. The customer in this story is a misshapen man with dubious (dubious) skin.

Authentic Horse: Welcome to the Cinnabar!
Alex Tingler: Thank you. I'll have a drink, please.
Authentic Horse: Coming right up!

As Authentic Horse prepares a beverage for Alex Tingler, the sound of malfunction overwhelms the characters.

Alex Tingler: Forget the drink. I can't stand being alive any longer.
Authentic Horse: I understand. I've lost the will to finish making your drink.
Alex Tingler: Was it really my drink? I hadn't even received it yet.
Authentic Horse: Here in Serbia, when you order a drink you have established a verbal contract with the merchant. That makes it your drink.
Alex Tingler: How did you get in here?
Authentic Horse: What do you mean, how did I get in here?
Alex Tingler: Were you brought in? Wheeled in? Airlifted in?
Authentic Horse: No, I walked in.
Alex Tingler: I suspected as much.

You probably have dubious (dubious) skin. History is a joke!