Salvia Divinorum (Labiatae)

I waited until Significant Other took the hit
When She ran to the kitchen I figured I had better put the pipe down
Her face was red and dry like the felt on a Christmas stocking
And Her eyes were dark stars or buttons. Whatever.

Emergency room doctor nodded while I talked
Having heard these same lies under slight variations in circumstance
My guilt must have made the air around us taste sour
Because his concern-face bunched up into a look of disgust
As if he had licked the metallic shame from the back of my mouth

And She had lost Her mind and gained it back in two hours
Or so She had us all believe for the past few months
But something inside of Her was different in a very bad way
Pounding the message home like an ABC After-School Special
And her eyes were dark stars or buttons. Whatever.

Treasure what you have. Or don't. Whatever.

Methylene Chloride (turn the channel)

I recently received a complaint from a woman
Who blamed Visual Nutrients for her son's allergic reaction
To althea root
And it's not that I don't feel bad
About her stupid kid's decision
To read a nutrient he had a known allergy to
I guess I just feel bad
That I received a complaint
Because reading Visual Nutrients is a choice
And most of the time it's a healthy choice

Do not read tonight's nutrient! Reading is never completely safe.

Phosphorus Pentachloride

John McCain brings flowers to his wife
hoping she won't ask about the horrific torture
he underwent while a prisoner during the Vietnam War
he looks into her eyes and knows she has a question
inside, he shrivels and waits
"did they make you eat their shit?"
not as bad an inquiry as last week
when she wanted to know about the bent metal rod
and how they were able to push it so far inside him
without killing him
dinner is on the table
but he looks at the beautiful roast
and can only think about the taste of shit

Try controlling others with your thoughts! Now try controlling yourself!

Chocolate Calcium Chews

Oh my god! Is this candy or a nutritional supplement? I am so...
echoes of a crackling fire
it is night and you try to stay warm
I could eat a hundred of these! The flavor...
insects rise from their slumber to harass you
thin cloth does not shield you from nature's attack
What I hate most is having to unwrap each one! Why can't it be a big...
bones are found years later
archaeologists assign numbers to your pieces

There is no noble death. Prepare the slides.

Aspartame

I stopped by your grave tonight
It was hard to read your name because there wasn't much light
There were cemetery thugs hiding out in the darkness
The sounds of automobiles penetrated the starkness
I didn't stay long and there was no deep thought
Someday you'll come back as a robot
Except you'll have a human head
And you'll be singing the songs of Lobo and Bread

I found a diary underneath a tree. A simple man!