Out in the garage
I found our dog's old shock collar
The one that we never had the heart to use
And I noticed the wet concrete
On which sat my entire record collection
The wet cardboard boxes peeled easily away
Revealing the Who's Zoo bootleg
And the Cabaret Voltaire 12-inch
And the Ultra-man picture disc
Thousands of my prized albums, ruined
I put the shock collar around my neck and barked
I barked until the sun went down
Almost everything you do is forgettable! Have some tea!
With my new "Optitopsysmosis" technology, you'll get the nutrients you need! How does this work? Well, a simple explanation is this: when you read (like right now), there is a tiny moment when the words are flying through the air toward your eyes. The pattern of the flying words, if correctly coded using the Optitopsysmosis technology, will allow the individual letters to capture Moleculonutrients and deliver them to your body via the eyes. So please, read on and enjoy a healthier life!
Sunday, November 28, 2004
Friday, November 12, 2004
Cabbage Root
I was asked by a man for thirty-three cents
I couldn't help but think of RPM
And the great days of vinyl records
I have a couple thousand sitting in my garage
I waved the guy off like he was nothing to me
I'd rather have women ask me for money! Women have pussies!
I couldn't help but think of RPM
And the great days of vinyl records
I have a couple thousand sitting in my garage
I waved the guy off like he was nothing to me
I'd rather have women ask me for money! Women have pussies!
Milk Thistle
Cream that'll
Show 'em what you're made've
Had your shade-grown hyphen-laden terror-coffee?
Didn't think-so
Sew a Betsy-Taboo-Rasa
And I'll meet you at el casa
We can have a cold cerveza
I'll sing vocals
You'll play bass
A hanging man is not so funny
Milk, this'll keep prostate runny
In a double-blind study, there were no milk thistle recipients who burst into flames. While this isn't evidence of milk thistle's ability to ward off spontaneous combustion, we can theorize that there is some benefit to those recipients who seek to be more fire retardant. In the placebo group, however, all 96 subjects were found in neat little ash-piles. The Swiffer Wet Jet was superb at not only cleaning up the subjects, but leaving the lab floor with a "sit-on" sheen.
Show 'em what you're made've
Had your shade-grown hyphen-laden terror-coffee?
Didn't think-so
Sew a Betsy-Taboo-Rasa
And I'll meet you at el casa
We can have a cold cerveza
I'll sing vocals
You'll play bass
A hanging man is not so funny
Milk, this'll keep prostate runny
In a double-blind study, there were no milk thistle recipients who burst into flames. While this isn't evidence of milk thistle's ability to ward off spontaneous combustion, we can theorize that there is some benefit to those recipients who seek to be more fire retardant. In the placebo group, however, all 96 subjects were found in neat little ash-piles. The Swiffer Wet Jet was superb at not only cleaning up the subjects, but leaving the lab floor with a "sit-on" sheen.
Sunday, November 07, 2004
Wine-Filled Goose-Neck
gotta little baby with a wine-filled goose-neck
all the little duckies go heck, heck heck
no-one had the seventy or even the tens
plaster's got a crack and the larvae aren't men
Holy holy, the prayer brings me home
Holy, holy, Thanksgiving in Rome
Television is your downfall! You are the me of today!
all the little duckies go heck, heck heck
no-one had the seventy or even the tens
plaster's got a crack and the larvae aren't men
Holy holy, the prayer brings me home
Holy, holy, Thanksgiving in Rome
Television is your downfall! You are the me of today!
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Short Skirts (Bring me the booty remix)
You know what I like?
Do you think I like mulch?
Do you think I like to compost my kitchen and garden waste?
Or do you think I like realigning the hinges on the kitchen cabinets?
Well I've got something to tell you
Sometimes I like the things I mentioned
Sometimes it makes me feel good to fix a cabinet
Sometimes it feels good to do something with scraps and weeds
And sometimes egg
Sometimes egg and toast is good
Not the kind with blood and scab
Not the kind that cleans the crab
Do you think I like to mulch?
Science Fiction! "Non-Fiction!"
Do you think I like mulch?
Do you think I like to compost my kitchen and garden waste?
Or do you think I like realigning the hinges on the kitchen cabinets?
Well I've got something to tell you
Sometimes I like the things I mentioned
Sometimes it makes me feel good to fix a cabinet
Sometimes it feels good to do something with scraps and weeds
And sometimes egg
Sometimes egg and toast is good
Not the kind with blood and scab
Not the kind that cleans the crab
Do you think I like to mulch?
Science Fiction! "Non-Fiction!"
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