Sage

Muskmelon derides crosshatch for the (N)ew (M)ineral. Catch a fish for the electorate and swallow your pride once again. Your idea of sharing is the distribution of gaffing sticks. For Christ's sake, don't take the pills! Your suicide is only a one-time event for you.

See you in Hell!

Borage Seed Oil, pt. IIa

Whatever you heard about Mr. Yucca Valley was incorrect. The prison didn't shut down because of money problems, like some would have you believe. The real demise of incinc was the "loose lips" that permeated the admin. While seemingly brutal, a nice "dirty war" would've kept us all in the dough.

This time you're the bagel dog! Finger yourself!

Dehydroepiandrosterone

The Queen gave a dinner in honor of Murray, unaware that wire barbeque brush had already begun its descent into Promodial Gesture Statute Entrophic Dissolution (PGSED). Could it have been the heat of the coals? All I know is that when the Queen hears about Murray's perforated duodenal wall, she'll simply write a check. Heck-Neck. Robert Palmer and John Ritter play Heck-Neck down in Heck. John Ritter uses wire barbeque brush on Robert Palmer's (N)eck. Queen plays scry and remembers her own experience with a (N)eck full of Ritter. Ritter-Fritter!

Try to be careful when reading hormones! Chances are, (R)itter (N)eck!

Borage Seed Oil, pt. II

The meanest guy in the prison was named "Lichen" and he was the charter inmate of Inc., Inc. In fact, he had (prior to his conviction for making a table out of a person) been the deciding vote on the Malwick County Board of Supervisors to contract with Inc., Inc. for a state-of-the-art maximum security prison. Lichen was unbelievably cruel to both his fellow inmates and the guards. He was known to give "the cold shoulder" and "the silent treatment" to those with whom he became cross.

That was truly Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. To be continued (prolonged)!

Opium

Home taping killed music.
My dogs won't shut up.
Home taping killed music and my dogs just won't shut up.
I used to like music (prior to it being killed) and I still like my dogs (less, though, than when they were quiet).
If music had not been killed, I would put some on to drown out the dog sounds.
But my records have decayed, their worn jackets epitaphs.
And my dogs...they just won't shut up.

Take yourself out on a date! It's cheap and it's fun!

Cod Liver Oil

Mr. Shiny says, "Dew drops are mercurial and rock music is a tool of the conservatives to keep the kids hoping they never become us." Seems like all the "C" words are taking on lives of their own. They grow up so fast.

Kiss a fish!

Borage Seed Oil (Dramatic Intro)

The profession of whores
Is the practice of whorage
And in the fighting of wars
There will always be warage
And when frequenting stores
You're engaging in storage
So please keep the Boers
Off my oil of seed borage

Keep a daily journal of your seed oil intake or find a profession that you love!

Folic Acid

Yesterday's Borage Seed Oil, pt. II was not a sanctioned entry in the Borage Seed Oil (BSO) line of Visual Nutrients. While there will be no apologies for the unsanctioned entry, there will be snacks served after the presentation.

The snacks have been poisoned!

Borage Seed Oil, pt. II

Semites and those looking like them joined hands and prayed the rosary! Good loving ensued followed by some moist applause aimed at appeasing the (D)emocrats and (R)epublicans in the audience. I once loved a rat named Genine.

With both her lower and her upper jaw.

Spruce Tips

This is not Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. This is Spruce Tips.

Spruce it up!

Chlorine

This is not Borage Seed Oil, pt. II. This is Chlorine. This nutrient has saved your useless life more times than you could ever count. You have no fucking understanding of the bacteria and protazoa that are lined up to kill your ass. They're taking numbers for the chance to turn your pancreas into soup, all the while you're taking Chlorine for granted. I dare you to go one day without the luxury of Chlorine. You couldn't last.

Try learning one new word a day! Keeps you from seeming stupid!

Borage Seed Oil

Lines formed quickly outside the fire-gutted Macy's. Leonard, sitting on his Hindu-Matic "Anti-Stress" Stool in the warden's office, saw no need to let the old man know anything about what was to happen in little over an hour. From Warden Padich's office window, one could see the entire mallscape of the People's Plaza (PP). With the PP only three miles away from Incarceration Incorporated (Inc., Inc.), many of the prisoners talked amongst themselves about "getting a whiff" of a Cinnabon when the morning breeze would kick up.

To be continued, just like your nutritional desires!

Manganese (as manganese carbonate)

The ladies got real emotional at the Ron Howard memorial service. Henry Winkler gave a speech about his own struggle with the bottle; even letting on that he might be married to two people! And the party trays were to die for--what with all the different kinds of olives! I had no idea! I was the third to leave...right after Dr. Anaheim. I already want more of those olives.

Two years is nothing.

Oxygen

Mars will be within arm's reach in two days and you have done nothing to prepare for it. Your Budd Hopkins Book-Club membership means less now than it did when you first met the RV sisters. Wednesday will come and go and you will have learned nothing. Your hand, full of red dust.

Buy a gun!

Motrin

There are institutions and there are institutions
And then there's what you believe
None of it makes any sense
Except for what you believe
And explaining that to yourself
Doesn't really get you anywhere

I can't even imagine how much this hurts!

Vitamin K

You use people like you use the paper towels at work
Never a thought to how many get tossed aside
But your hands are clean
And dry

Skin is the first line of defense!

DHEA

Oh, carrot sticks!
I saw you running your mouth at Cafe-Cafe!
Susan may not be the best in hair but, oh my!
Army surplus is fashion, then it's not, and now it is again
Parachute pants are easy to take off (fuck-fuck)
I heard about your bout with fibromyalgia
I pretend not to climax because of your disease
I pretend that my body has loosened from its moorings
I pretend that everything's better in the morning
Oh, carrot sticks!

You feel awful for a reason!

Flax Seed Oil

I heard about your little run-in with Mel Gibson. (six)
His shirts are almost always wrinkled. (nineteen)
Mel Gibson gets away with murder. (four)
There was that whole thing with your trip to Pup'n'Taco. (four)
And now his face is all over the news. (ten)
It is so hard to be good like Mel Gibson. (ten)
There is only so much a man can do. (four)
It was easier when there was no Mel Gibson. (six)
To keep you from walking out that door. (god)

A brisk walk outside is all you need!

Righteousness

a hitler salute is given toward the moon on a california summer night
tonight the new fascism has the red carpet rolled out for it
arnold is as much six letters as ronald
we are fucking doomed.
doomed.

Please hide your weapons from the new military!

Cactus

Thank you, little cactus
the sun can kill you
but not as fast as the sun
can kill me
BUT THAT
has no impact on my decision
to stay in sunny southern California

Cowabunga!