With my new "Optitopsysmosis" technology, you'll get the nutrients you need! How does this work? Well, a simple explanation is this: when you read (like right now), there is a tiny moment when the words are flying through the air toward your eyes. The pattern of the flying words, if correctly coded using the Optitopsysmosis technology, will allow the individual letters to capture Moleculonutrients and deliver them to your body via the eyes. So please, read on and enjoy a healthier life!
Friday, July 29, 2011
***SPECIAL NOTIFICATION***
Visual Nutrients will resume on August 1st
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Inverse Nutrient (live chai)
******NOT A NUTRIENT*******
so it looks like you've gone ahead and started reading
well, well, thrillseeker
are you one of those genetically-inclined risk-takers?
do you think I should have hyphenated "thrillseeker"
and put it in italics?
Here's how that looks, assholes:
so it looks like you've gone ahead and started reading
well, well, thrillseeker
are you one of those genetically-inclined risk-takers?
do you think I should have hyphenated "thrillseeker"
and put it in italics?
Here's how that looks, assholes:
Thrill-seekerMaybe you should go to a vitamin-store from now on!
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Inverse Nutrient (special edition)
we build ourselves using pieces of the divine
but sometimes that divinity lies hidden
like wallpaper beneath paint beneath wallpaper
but sometimes that divinity lies hidden
like wallpaper beneath paint beneath wallpaper
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Inverse Nutrient (part two)
we designed your death dossier
exactly as the Wall Street Journal spelled out
in the article written by Saabira Chaudhuri
that we read together online before the catastrophe
who could have seen what was coming?
you rode shotgun on a Ski-Doo
and expected special German treatment
for mortified jaw
and now everything is terrible
These are not Visual Nutrients. Everything is terrible!
exactly as the Wall Street Journal spelled out
in the article written by Saabira Chaudhuri
that we read together online before the catastrophe
who could have seen what was coming?
you rode shotgun on a Ski-Doo
and expected special German treatment
for mortified jaw
and now everything is terrible
These are not Visual Nutrients. Everything is terrible!
Monday, July 04, 2011
Inverse Nutrient (part one-point-five)
Los Angeles County Fair was mortified jaw
Huey Petris and the Zion Trio equals mortified jaw
San Bernardino mortified jaw
Your terrible children are insured
Your lawn is seeded by State Farm
Los Angeles is a bear trap
Huey Petris and the Zion Trio equals bear trap
San Bernardino, however, mortified jaw
We all need insurance. You are feeling so tired!
Huey Petris and the Zion Trio equals mortified jaw
San Bernardino mortified jaw
Your terrible children are insured
Your lawn is seeded by State Farm
Los Angeles is a bear trap
Huey Petris and the Zion Trio equals bear trap
San Bernardino, however, mortified jaw
We all need insurance. You are feeling so tired!
Sunday, July 03, 2011
Inverse Nutrient (part one)
when the man from Jiffy Lube showed me my air filter
I was appalled
when the physician's assistant showed me my labwork
I was appalled
and when you showed me your cotton German brassiere
I admired the attention to detail
those Germans really know how to make a bra
and Germans often shy away from breaking the law
and very few Germans have a mortified jaw
German and the mortified jaw
You feel nutrients being pulled from you. Please do not read Visual Nutrients this month!
I was appalled
when the physician's assistant showed me my labwork
I was appalled
and when you showed me your cotton German brassiere
I admired the attention to detail
those Germans really know how to make a bra
and Germans often shy away from breaking the law
and very few Germans have a mortified jaw
German and the mortified jaw
You feel nutrients being pulled from you. Please do not read Visual Nutrients this month!
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