Lingua Yeast (infected language)

I hate you

But I will not set fire to your house

Because my hate is total weaksauce

I actually do not even know you very well

But nonetheless, I hate you

And your car is safe

I will not cut your brakeline

Or soak your A/C filter with ether

Because at the end of the day

Hating you is not worth my time or energy

You will have gastritis. And I will cackle with glee!

Arsenica Lingua (poisoned tongue)

You cursed me in four languages

Yet I criticized your dialects

You told me I could go to hell

But I chose to stop at heck

We all choose a path

Whether we want to or not

The path you chose for me was wrong

I kid you not

At the base of the foothills

We both showed our hands

A flush beats a straight every time

So here we make our stand

I will not

I cannot

Concede control

And you should not

You must not

Let me know that you know

You must not and cannot

Let me know that you know

The goths were right all along! Adult cutters are kids in training!

Arsenicum

You wanted a homeopath

I gave you a lukewarm bath

You said the soap was full of lye

I said you didn't have to use it

The soapy smell had notes

Entwined with music

I asked you if my words could win me an Oscar

You put a jacket on 'reminded me of NASCAR

Had advertisements for Valvoline and Armor All

When unengorged with blood

A member can seem mighty small

I think I asked you if you'd meet me at the snack bar

I waited hours waiting at the motherfucking snack bar

I'm pretty sure you meant to show up. Please don't listen to your answering machine.

Castrol 20-50

You blocked me in to my own driveway

And then the joke grew thin

No laughs or pointing fingers

You had seriously lost your mind

I called the police and they had you move your car

You called me a pussy the next night at Michael J's

And then it was all laughs

Because you had the gift

Of pulling the long con

We all figured you were right

It was kind of funny in a terror kind of way

And we obeyed you

You had the intellect and power over pop culture

You were politically astute

We all tried to become you in one way or another

But I knew in a deeper level

You had reached your apex and had nowhere to go

But down

There were those who hung on

But over the decades you started talking to yourself

You would excuse yourself and pace the parking lot

Arguing and smoking nonstop

By then you only had a few followers

Who couldn't stand watching you lose your mind

But they kept watch

Distant but almost available

When I heard you died in a fiery car crash

I could only admire your perfection

In choosing a suicide utterly unproveable

I could say I miss you

But it's not you that I really miss

I miss the person I was

The gullible and diligent lieutenant

Who followed you into dark places

And defended you against the inevitable enemies

I miss being led into oblivion

By a super-smart bastard who never stood a chance

And met a fitting end

Don't order the giant burger. It is truly a burger meant for Giants.

Iron (rusted)

You borrowed my moth

And drove it better than I ever could have

So now I have to hug you

It's not that I don't understand

I was "resting on my laurels"

Whatever the heck that means

But the basic idea is that my lack of impetus

Gave you the right to co-opt my moth privileges

You are correct

I was too wrapped up in my own moth

To see that I had a real moth

But now I am a moth

And you have crossed the line

Basically driving like a moth

Leave moth people alone. They are not always car moth.

Clam Juice (organic clam)

You showed me your shell collection

They were all clam shells

Which is great

But not impressive

You started to tell me about clam variety

And while I verbally agreed

I mentally thought you were stupid

Now had you introduced the collection

As a clam shell collection

Instead of a shell collection

I would have considered you a genius

But you chose the wrong words

And that is unforgivable

Think about your words. You may be dealing with an asshole!

Zinc: Redux in Blue

You give me that fish-face

The one where you're mad

And have the face of a fish

Not an exotic or prehistoric fish

But a trout or a bass

A normal fish face

So I respond by taking a bait-stance

The stance I take when I fear your madness

And I become a salmon egg

At the end of a treble hook

And we come together in violence

Your lip, gill, or throat is now pierced

And though you may taste me

You will die before I can become a part of you

And the god that has orchestrated this

Drinks Hamm's and thinks his son might be gay

Fishing for rainbow trout with your son? Brown trout might be the ticket.

Calcium Citrate

Matt Damon brings flowers to Matthew Broderick

Nicholas Cage brings restrictions to Nick Nolte

The pictue hangs crooked

Perhaps the walls are not true

Or maybe things just aren't right

I could give you a parade of celebrities

And cloak the meaning of this nutrient in wordplay

But at the end of the day

We are left with an artwork askew

And a smokescreen of distractions

To hide something so simple and forgiveable

Use wall anchors to protect your drywall. Insurance is a lie.

Zinc 15mg

You brought me the zinc and the strength was 15 milligrams

I listed the actors I know:

Jack Nicholson

Tom Cruise 

Tom Hanks

Tom Sawyer

Tom Collins

Tom Boy

And then I looked to see if the capsules were gelatin

And they were

Zinc has been proven to cure disease. So why are we so sick?

Zinc: Things Have Changed

The cats are dead

They were better to me than I was to them

I do not miss them so I must be an asshole

The oldest dog is dead

She had a name, but it makes me cry to say it

The name is/was Ruby

I can write it and not cry

Which says a lot

As far as the relation to zinc

There is none

I just miss my girl

Most of the life around you will not outlive you. Congratulations.

Zinc: Children of Zinc

You had your brother's Bob Dylan albums

Wrapped in butcher paper

Like they were meat or lamb

And you had work done on your nose

So it's a sure bet that nobody should trust you

I had used an Arby's coupon

As kind of a fake tattoo

But nothing like a real tattoo

In fact I lied and there was no coupon or tattoo

Your nose is like meat or lamb! Your brother was a great man.

Zinc. Regular

We left Portsmith with our memories intact

No creatures from an extremist Hell cursed our thoughts

Or so we thought

We got home and the ice maker started to rumble

Cubes of frozen blood destroyed our old fashioneds

The devil did a devil dance to mock our illusion of safety

If only we had known

That a house without prayer is the Devil's home

We'd have rented instead

We'd have avoided the headaches and rented instead

Use tramadol to control moderate pain. Continue living for moderate pain.

Zinc. Just fucking zinc.

We got the zinc through Amazon Prime

Fast delivery in a large box

We have never been happier

Every day since the delivery

We have discovered new things about our selves

And each other

Every night we give each other the "zincy" eye

And are comforted that once we run out

The next batch of zinc is only a click away

Use zinc on your cock. If you fail to have a cock, use zinc on a pan or a plate.

Black Box Interactions

She asked me if it was coming in from the sides

and that kind of question only meant one thing

I told her that everything would be okay

and she gave a little laugh and said "not likely"

She had been off her meds for almost three months

and told me daily about how good she felt

"My mind is unclogged" and "I can finally feel again"

and I purposely believed her because the alternative is way too sad

Nobody even noticed when she had restarted her meds

the doctors were exactly where we had left them

She tries to tell me that things are better now

and I think a hidden thought inside, "not likely"

Use a caring look to see past the abyss. It never really works now, does it?

Sapphire Dust

You brought gemstones into this house

Against my wishes

Ignoring my commands

And now we've got Demons

Demons with devil hands

I tried to warn you

Because I knew you'd break the rule

And now we're being dragged down into hell

The light is refracting

From the fires you meant to start

And the Demons are smiling

Cutting opals into hearts

So this leaves the both of us

At the beck and call of minions

But I've got to admit

I'm starting to like these diamonds

Use a clamp to close your hole. Please close that hole.

Never Mind the Bullocks

You talk about losing your center

News Flash: You have no center

You panic with the belief you are untethered

None of us is Sandra Bullock (except, of course, Sandra Bullock)

Like meat right off the grill

We all need to give it a rest

And once rested our juices will find purchase within our cells

Giving us a sense of fullness

And it is this which allows us to put the gun down

To put the knife down

To put the Extra Strength Tylenol back into the medicine cabinet

And wake up tomorrow with the same dumb illusion

Of a center

Of a norm

You are dumb. We are dumb and must abandon the fear of what we are!

Nuvigil

I took a half tab of Nuvigil

So I wouldn't fall asleep and die on my drive home

But now I'm wired

Legally wired out of my fucking gourd

And I want it to stop

I want to feel tired and normal

Hell, I've always wanted to feel normal

Even though the medical community

Has deemed me eligible for sanctioned drugging

And even though they want me to take this shit daily

It's been three months since my last use

And now I remember why I've avoided it

Yeah, this nutrient sucks. I know.

And maybe it just tells you straight up what's happening

Which makes for a bland analytic

But I have nothing else to give you

Other than a glimpse into my discomfort

And yeah, I could explain my sleep disorder

But that wouldn't change my current experience

Nor would it change my decision to stay alive on my drive home

But it may assuage my self judgment

By fishing for platitudes

Using a barbed #12 treble hook

Loaded with Pautskes Balls of Fire and a touch of Zekes

Use drugs on fish! You are what you eat!

Ethanol (Fitness Edition)

We had the whole tease scenario down

You were going to wear a wig

And I was going to be the unreadable CHP supervisor

But it turned out that just the two of us showed up

And I fumbled the prepared lines

And your wig reminded us of an old friend

We ended up watching television

But we didn't kill anyone

And we didn't start a regional conflict

And we didn't establish a refugee camp

Unable to meet the needs of the influx of refugees

We should always be suspicious of scripted orgasms. Sex on the beach, hell yeah!

Mag 64

I saw your mom's house for sale on Realtor.com

So I looked at the 17 exclusive photos

And My breath caught in my throat when I saw the layout

Your kitchen was the same kitchen I had seen

When your mom would go off to work the night shift

it's been 33 years and oh shit

The living room is the same

Not like "memory same" but exact same

Like we could still be there on the floor

Navigating the denim barriers

That separate dry humping from the real thing

The exclusive photos left me haunted

Our teenage ghosts had waited there to ambush me

Either you or your mother had left a trap for me

She, from the grave

You, from your broken heart

And I applaud the both of you

For successfully freaking the living fuck out of me

Buy a house and start it on fire. Please start yourself on fire.

Adrene Vive (an Ortho Molecular product)

funeral pudding was your thing for a while
before you got caught up with that neo-vaudeville crew
now you sing and dance for any lichen or scarab beetle
is funeral pudding what I meant to say?

Haiku Funeral Pudding
emulsified air
equal and even pressure
like breathing pudding

so we miss you around here
well, not so much miss you and more like hate you
when you left us we suffocated
maybe that neo-vaudeville thing was just a front

Don't drink bottled water. Lichens will never help you.